February 1st, 2012 | 
Author: Here is a live 1-1 coaching session with a client, where I talk about how to improve his dates, create more sexual tension, and understanding the principles of conversation and flirting.
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There’s a lot of talk about inner game within the PUA community. Guys want to know how to be more confident and charismatic with women. Then when you see them walking about town and interacting amongst fellow humans there is this dissassociation – like passing ships in the night. I’ll stay out of your way if you stay out of mine is the mentality OR I’ll wait until im in the bar or social environment before I turn on the charm and charisma. I even hear guys say to me, “Why are you wasting your time talking to her man, she’s ugly”. We are all guilty of being swept up in this illusion. You can either be one of these sheep, and a slave to the system or break free and start BEING the person you want to be, which means being like that with everyone.
Giving Unconditionally
Just as the video demonstrates, when you go into an interaction, you must think of your role as being one of giving unconditionally, not taking. If you can give with no expectation of reciprocity, that’s unconditional, and that is how it must be. You have to clear your motives, foster a karmic attitide of “c’est la vie,” and give from a place of overflow. In other words, if we are a tree, we give from the fruits, not the seeds.
Law of attraction
We are constantly expressing an energetic vibrational version of ourselves all the time in the form of ‘vibes’. We often say things like “He or she has got a really good vibe about them”. These are magnetic vibrations creating our reality all the time. The fear and stress of society works against us, and we absorb that. We then give off the low vibrational state and we attract stressful, fearful states and energies towards us. If we hold onto anger then angry people come into our lives. If we play the victim role, the victim vibe goes out and the victim circumstance comes in. We attract to us people, places, opportunities, lack of opportunities, money, no money, luck, bad luck, by our state of being – WE create it. When we emit love , we create a very new reality and we draw in a reflection of that. It’s just a choice.
Homework
Go out this week and each day show 10 random acts of kindness to strangers. If you really understand what this is about, you will move from it being a one off exercise, to a way of being and that is when the true inner game alchemy begins.
All that now needs to be said is...Roll on next year!
STEP RIGHT UP, STEP RIGHT UP…. IF YOU WANT ALL THE WOMEN AND ALL THE SEXUAL FREEDOM IN THE WORLD THEN YOU NEED TO COME TO PLEASURE ISLAND….
When I initially got into ‘game’, I was quite encouraged by the prospect of hooking up with the best looking girls, by somehow mastering a program. I studied books, went on bootcamps, and lived in forums. The cold truth was, I wasn’t getting better with women – I was getting worse, A LOT worse. How can this be!! The reason was, I had fallen victim to the self-perpetuating marketing machine that is PUA. Let me explain… These companies run by money moguls, lure gentlemen in by eliciting their insecurities with women. Once they are in, they are imprisoned within the circus. (community) They are soon conditioned to adopt the PUA language which they believe is the secret code to unlocking a woman’s knickers, but paradoxically is exactly what is compounding them in a theme park where only the big boss is winning. Anyone still using words like Open, Close, Sets, Sarge, Disarm are NOT getting the sort of girls and having the love life they want – which is exactly what the big boss loves…
Once they are safely in, the doors are firmly shut behind and guys move from one circus ride to another in the hope of making their big breakthrough with women, until ultimately they get frustrated and choose to go on the super duper ride with Mr #7 best in world! A week after they have parted with their £1000′s they are back where they started again, in search of the next big thing.
“There’s something phoney about all this” – Jiminy Cricket
After so long in the PUA circus you start to become someone you’re not. You forget your true personality, using canned ‘openers’, routines and pre-meditated lines. Courtship with a woman becomes like a tactical game of Warhammer and you start to treat her as the enemy that must be defeated. You build up a thick, fake mask over your true identity - You become a Jackass like everyone else.
The way to ultimately have beautiful women in your life, is to escape this PUA circus as Pinocchio does, before it’s too late and return to becoming a natural human being with high self worth and have an attractive & passionate life. You can then gain a new perspective at which to look back at the circus you were once part of. If you are still dependent on forums and are constantly consuming more and more theory then you are just another character in pleasure island.
At The Natural Lifestyles we teach principles NOT techniques. Once you develop these principles you are able cultivate your own personality and eventually cut the umbilical chord to the community. I believe I have reached a point in my expertise where I have transcended ‘pickup’/'game’. I no longer use the battle-field lingo and have reached a point where I can just walk up to girl and say “Hi I’m John” and just enjoy seeing where the wind takes me. It has become a REAL human connection. Compare this to working out the IOI’s and putting together a convoluted ‘opener’ to somehow eventually acquire something from her.
It is on the outside of this circus that success occurs NOT within it.
“OMG HEY, HOW YOU DOING, WHERE’VE YOU BEEN, WHAT OHH,” totally owning the role of the person she met, perhaps on a night out!
She frowns, ignores and walks into Cafe.
… “ohh”…
showing confusion as to why shes walked off, ignoring her ‘good’ friend!
Because I totally owned this, and no-one wants to be seen as rude, she pokes her head back out to check.
“Do i know you?”
“Yeh do i look familiar to you?”
“No not at all”
“Really? maybe.. i dunno, you just look familar to me, sorry!
Even if she does not buy into it, i have provided a good playful energy and its entertaining to her
“I mean you do have a very unusual face!”
She enters into the game!
“Unusual!? out of all the adjectives – ‘unusual’!
“I mean it stands out”
“Oh ok! in a good way right?”
“absolutely”
(absolutely yeh)
“Kind of um…angular yet soft”
“Angular?!!”
“…yet soft!”
“Are you a poet?”
“No”
“You should be”
This was actually quite a funny, quick in-the-moment thing to say on the fly.
I notice her about to go into cafe so I finish off with..
“go and get a coffee and come back”
confidently assuming connection and holding a strong frame.
2 mins later she comes back out with a glass of wine and within 30 mins is explaining where she is going to take me on our first date!
The key principle here is I am having fun and entertaining myself with my friend. If i had used a serious approach, I would be setting myself up for the fall. I’d be putting myself in a Win/Lose frame. In essence I am autonomous and unaffected throughout. the Hilarity of the gag is my primary objective and the secondary outcome is the girl. That way if nothing materialises with the girl – I always won the game in the first place, thus making me impervious to any negative feelings or rejection.
Often girls will find it awkward being approached in a direct manner in non-social environments such as on the street, in a park, bookshop, supermarket etc, however this is not their desired ambient reaction – infact most girls dream about being stopped in a flourish by a brave man – whatever the location. They are socially conditioned to react defensively through society and its norms, education, parents, paranoia, media scaremongering and so on. By simply calling out the ‘awkwardness’ of the situation she can see you ‘get it’ and you go from the weird socially uncalibrated guy, to the brave guy that has put himself on the line despite this challenge.
This ‘awkwardness’ arising in society has the effect of making everyone behave on ‘Ant Autopilot’ “with nothing really human required of us, simply to keep the ant colony we live in buzzing along in an efficient, polite manner”. For instance, we don’t make eye contact on public transport, nor do we speak to strangers in public. By presenting someones own behaviour to them, it reminds them that they have become a slave to the system, which snaps them out of ant autopilot and into the reality which you offer – one which is free and emancipated from this oppressive society. The effect is powerful and can make the difference when approaching beautiful women wherever you are.
Ok so my trip to Aus is nearly up so here are a few things that have surprised me about Melbourne:
every light switch and toilet is exactly the same,
how much better the coffee is and how much pride they put into making it,
the quality of the graffiti,
the friendliness and chilledness of everyone,
there is a restaurant called Gaylord and Cum Den,
their ‘cold’ winter is our ‘mild’ October,
there are no chavs,
the amount of sushi shops
the ephemeral weather,
the hidden backstreets are where the coolest bars and cafes are,
how easy the city centre is laid out yet how disorientated it makes you feel
how little amount of black people there are, but how many chinese people there are,
the marmite here is pretend marmite.
you can get done for walking across road on a red man,
how much american-english there is in the language,
a duvet is a duna,
Burger King is called Hungry Jacks,
there is a cheese called Coon,
how much more straightforward it is to ask girls on dates,
aussie football is the only sport that exists – and it’s shit.
a pint of beer costs twice as much as a glass of wine,
the australian notes looks like monopoly money and you can’t rip it or crumple it.
you’re not obliged to leave tips in restaurants,
they only drive ugly hondas, toyotas or ford cars,
the amazing ‘double’ rainbows
how expensive bananas are (2 quid a banana)
a wog is a greek/italian
Here’s an example of how you can use your environment and situational stuff to chat up women. Here I subvert the interviewing girl into the one being interviewed by me as a possible date!
If there was a video that totally sums up my style and my philosophy it would be this.
Now some things to take note of here – technically i get rejected twice right? Yet do I paint the picture of a withdrawn and down beat man at the end? My primary objective was the fun of the interaction and the girls 2nd. Even though i don’t get on a date, I have won the game already in my eyes. This shows to the girl that i am unaffected, showing abundance and confidence. This is attractive and somewhere you want to get to.
When you create this primary objective, in this case of having fun – you create a ‘forcefield’ around you and nothing bad can ever happen.
Since being in Melbourne, I’ve noticed Australians finish their sentences with an ‘invisible question mark’ or as Stephen Fry calls it, ‘The Australian Questioning Intonation’. No matter how powerful the statement you are making, by using this upwards tonality it creates a desire for approval which signals a lack of self-confidence.
One simple principle which tends to get overlooked in the community, is the power of not blinking when you are cranking up the heat with a girl. Think about the Pressure/release principle in action here. If you are blinking constantly you are micro-releasing sexual pressure all the time, whereas if you are holding the gaze then massive amount of sexual pressure is being exerted…
