I’m John, the official TNL London representative!
I love partying and nightlife. Always have done. It became somewhat of a trademark of mine, whenever I was high, to be sick on the dancefloor, (once over the shoulder of the girl I was grinding with!) As I stood over my splat one night I had a hedonistic vision of creating the ‘sickest’ club event in London. And so my events company was born – SICK ON THE DANCEFLOOR. It began with a party of 30 friends at a small gay bar on the suburbs of London, and within 10 events was pulling in 2000 people and voted 7th best night in the UK by Mixmag.
When I read the game and found out about the pick up community I was shocked to see there was a ‘strategy’ involved to getting with girls. When I split up with my ex girlfriend, I started to give it a go and to my horror I found I was getting worse with women – how could this be so! The pick up terminology treats interactions with women as some kind of military operation – approach, open, close, sets, field report, sarge. These words treat women as the enemy and exacerbate simple organic processes and create unnecessary pressure & anxiety. These words stem from a position of fear. Each time you use the word ‘approach’, you subtley reinforce at an unconscious level, the belief that there is some form of risk or danger. Let me put it this way – You wouldn’t ‘approach’ your mum in the kitchen now would you? I resorted back to just going out and having fun and I started to get girls again.
It got me thinking about what it is to be an attractive man. The answer to me is PLAY. As long as you are PLAYING, you are succeeding in PLAYING. You cannot fail because you are always achieving your primary result – to PLAY! When you do this you often achieve an overt secondary result too – which is the girl! It was a major breakthrough for me to go from being attached to the outcome and setting up a success/fail frame with women, to being detached and playful. When you do this, there is no such thing as rejection, and life becomes a buffet. I started my own coaching business in London called The Female Formula, using hands-on/fun workshops. I am now proudly working as the official London representative for TNL. So anyway guys, this is just a quick introduction to me and what I am about.
Expect more crazy, ballsy, and playful blogs & videos where I push the boundaries of pick up to show what’s truly possible.
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